Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize