I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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