On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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