At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
