My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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