why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
