hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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