i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
