I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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