Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
