I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize