Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
