It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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