Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
