You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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