Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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