So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
