let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
