I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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