So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize