You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
