Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
