she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
