just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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