I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
