There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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