so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
