I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm having to shit out rocks
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