Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
