big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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