I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
