I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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