You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
