shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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