Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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