Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
