We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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