Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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