think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
