Swine flu. Run for my life!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
