My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
