dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
