So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
