Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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(252): View more from North Carolina

U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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(817): View more from Texas

So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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(847): View more from Illinois

I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.

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(419): View more from Ohio

If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.

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(904): View more from Florida

Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.

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(904): View more from Florida

That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.

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