i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
