I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
