windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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