Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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