I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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