When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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