i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
