I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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