a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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