and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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