On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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