I want to stick my p in your. b.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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