We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
