he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
