i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
