break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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