my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
