God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize