Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the condom got lost in my hair
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
