help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
