found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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