everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
