My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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